yesterday when i got home from work there was fat envelope in the mail from my RE's office. i opened it thinking it would be med protocol or a pharmacy list or something. turns out they shipped me my entire chart. "we've scanned your records into our system and thought you'd appreciate having access to your own chart."
ok, fine. great even. most of that stuff i hadn't even seen before. then i started looking through it. all the compiled records from my Ob, my gyn, and my midwife. it had the detailed charts from my mc. how horrifying. all the comments from my midwife and the radiology report. of course i immediately started sobbing.
i was glad to see it though. turns out i was right about Gina the midwife, she is a rockstar. all of her notes are incredible. it was clear she really cared about me. that was nice to see, it wasn't all lip service, she felt genuinely bad.
anyway, don't know why i want to record that in here. guess i just can't stop thinking about it...