Tuesday, December 7, 2010

i feel like such a moron

who gets pregnant again 3 1/2 weeks after a ten week miscarriage? certainly not me... is it even possible?

all i know is that when i went in for my appointment on 11/19 the pee test in the office was negative and when i peed on a cheap internet test strip after thanksgiving with midday, unheld urine it was clearly positive. yet my beta numbers were low. so what was the mIU of the office test? it had to have been 20 or 25. and did my hcg really only fall 10-12 points in 2 weeks? that's depressing...

and yet- there was my period. exactly 29 days after i passed all the tissue. like nothing had ever happened. like i'd never been pregnant at all....

i know i should be grateful. there are hundreds of posts on my message board from women who've waited 6, even 8 weeks to get a post-mc period. i should be glad my body is trying to "right" itself. so why do i have this crushed in chest feeling. why am i not able to stop crying?

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