Ugh! I am so frustrated. I simply do not understand why people have to be so ignorant. I lurk on this miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss group and I seriously just saw something that astounded me. Someone actually posted pictures of their "rainbow" baby all dressed up as a Cupid for valentines day. On a site where women go to grieve for their dead children she decided to post pictures of her baby?!?! Are you fucking serious?!?! That's just so cruel. I don't understand why people do this.
I run a group for TTC after miscarriage and it seriously seems like pregnant women are constantly coming on there to ask questions about their pregnancy. I understand that BBC is a big place and its easy to get disoriented and post something in the wrong place, but wheni point them in the direction of a group for pregnancy after loss they get all self-righteous and defend their right to post here. Its infuriating. I wish I could be like some of the tougher GOs and just lock the thread. Maybe I should do that.
Recently one of my friends on BBC got pregnant. I was following her IF journey blog on here and was shocked when I logged in a few days ago and saw that she'd deleted all the entries about IF and was now acting like all of that never happened and she was just keeping a baby blog. I don't get it. Is infertility really that shameful? Are you really going to act like you can erase all the pain of TTC?
Has the whole world gone fertile crazy?
Okay, first of all, you have every right to be appalled by the ignorant dumbasses on BBC. Second, what gives on the blogger changing her tune, like she never had any problems?! I can see morphing into a baby blog but keep the damn posts on there about your journey! I decided recently that I'm just done with people. Period. I'm done trying to get support from people who consider themselves in the same boat as my husband and I when the truth is the exact opposite. D-O-N-E done!
ReplyDeleteSteph, you are the best! I was so afraid after I wrote this that I was going to get slammed. I think I'm done with people too. I'm tired of trying so hard to be conscious of other people's feelings when it seems like everyone always just puts themselves first. I didn't even feel guilty for dropping and "unfollowing" her blog. She should feel guilty for perpetuating the shame surrounding infertility and loss.
ReplyDeleteAmen, sista! You won't get any slamming from me, that's for sure. Pretty much everything you say on your blog, I'm thinking but forgot to type!! lol I totally know where you're coming from with the thoughts that everyone puts themselves first. It's unfortunate (although, I think I'm also doing that...lol), but to be completely ridiculously insensitive is uncalled for and anyone who partakes in that isn't someone I want to associate. If you ever want to chit chat back and forth "off the record" (lol), you can email me: doozie_rice@yahoo.com Emily and I do when we're frustrated, instead of cluttering up each other's blogs with a million posts! :P
ReplyDeleteOops, *associate with...not just "associate".
ReplyDeleteCompletely agree, 100%.
ReplyDeleteMy best friend (knows everything I'm going through) thought it would be okay to tell me how her other friend is pg with twins and is "CRUSHED" because they only wanted one. They got pregnant the first month off of birth control.
WHY WOULD I WANT TO KNOW THAT?!?!?!