i'm on cd3.
we're waiting for all our documents to be transferred from our old RE to our new RE. plus we have to wait for the referral to go through.
i'm kind of unclear about the etiquette of switching. i'm also afraid that we're leaving the devil we know for the one we don't. what if this RE is even worst than the last one? plus the new SART stats came out recently (for 2009) and our old RE has a much higher success rate than the one we're switching to. Is personality worth it? Also, what do we tell our old RE? do we owe them an explanation? I was checking out my husband's patient portal online and saw that he'd written dr. morris an angry letter demanding a treatment plan and specifics. it took dr morris a while to answer, but he did answer, and very cordially. he was well within his rights to totally call my husband an asshole for being so abrasive, but he took the time to write a very long and detailed reply. the fact that he did this has me questioning the entire switch. did i misjudge him?
what now? do i have to call them and tell them why i want my records faxed? or do i just go quietly?
this whole thing is turning out to be a lot more complicated than i thought. added to that is the inherent murkiness of unexplained infertility. there's no real reason why we aren't conceiving. i actually find myself jealous of women who have pcos and don't ovulate or have partners who don't make enough sperm. at least they have a reason and a clear problem to fix. i feel like all we can do is play guessing games and up the meds i don't really need. i also have this weird guilt that i don't know what to do with. there's nothing medically wrong with either of us, so maybe we're doing something wrong? or not relaxing enough? maybe this is a sign we're not meant to be parents... and even that thought isn't as terrifying as it once was, at least living childfree would get us off this rollercoaster.
what should our plan be? what do we do next? no amount of support groups or consultations can answer that. because there is no answer.