Monday, November 29, 2010


so I just took a pregnancy test. it was positive. I don't know what to think. More than likely its leftover hormones post-miscarriage. But I have a weird feeling.

I swore after my miscarriage that from now on I'm going to trust my body at all costs. But at what point does hope cloud your judgement? Do I want to be pregnant again? Desperately. I would give anything for that. So am I imagining all this because I want it so bad? I don't want to look like an ass when the blood test shows that its residual hormones, but I feel like I'm pregnant. Symptoms I forgot I had I'm getting again... Those back of the thigh cramps, the after meal nausea. I had that right away the first time.

I don't even know what to say I'm so scared. I called and left a message for my midwife to write me a beta bloodtest.

Please let it not be false hope or leftovers. Please let me have this.

(posted from my phone so sorry about the disjointedness and awful spelling)

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